


When Crows Cry

by adventuresofnic



Series: Indescribable [1]
Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Trigger Warnings, carmilla self pity, everyone might as well cry and die, shit tons of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-23
Updated: 2015-07-23
Packaged: 2018-04-10 20:50:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4407215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adventuresofnic/pseuds/adventuresofnic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She doesn't love you.<br/>Your cold heart hurts.<br/>She doesn't love you.<br/>You fooled yourself.<br/>She doesn't love you.<br/>Your eyes are fogged.<br/>She doesn't love you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When Crows Cry

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry for this

When Crows Cry  
...

  


You should have know better, really you should have. She's only human after all. But no, you had let yourself fall into an infinite abyss filled with nothing but hollow promises and teetering happiness. You thought she loved you, clearly she didn't. Asking you to betray your own sister? Who even does that? Apparently she does.  
There's no more room for you. You should have stayed down in that pit, then maybe all of this heart break could have been avoided.  
'No it wouldn't have, you were in love with her from the start.'  
There are tears in your eyes and heaviness in your heart. It hurts, oh it hurts so bad. But you love her, you love her so much and to her your a monster. That's all you'll ever be. And all she'll ever be is human. The snow crunches under your boots, the cold nipping at your dead skin. The tingling pain is welcoming, it would be better if you could feel it's nimble fingers etching into you. Except you can't, you wish you could but you can't. The heaviness in your chest keeps spreading outward until slowly you ache all over. You've rotted in a blood filled coffin, survived death twice, been burned by the sun, but no pain has ever even came close to the dull ache that is pulsing through your body right now.  
...  
When you see her again all those feelings you pushed down with alcohol and pain come rushing back. She looks bad, she has dark circles under her eyes and her hair is slightly mussed. You start to feel your resolve breaking slightly but you hold it together with anger. Your snark and sass is back, it's more of a default setting to you. Your not letting her back in your normally well guarded fortress.  
'There's no point, she's a permanent resident there.'  
She tries to talk to you but your not risking it. You don't want that feeling encasing you to become worse so you ignore her... Mostly. When she thinks your just reading your book and ignoring her, you're actually not. You listen to every word that comes out of her mouth, whether it's directed at you or someone else you always listen. It's all you can do.  
...  
She starts having nightmares. Join the club you tell her, you've been having them for decades now. You know they are bad though, worse than what they were at the beginning of the semester. You can hear her muffled screams from the rooftops where you spend the most of your nights. It hurts you, you wish for nothing more than to go and wrap your arms around her shaking frame. You can't do that though, both of you are already in a tight place, there's no reason to make it worse.  
'It's as bad as it gets.'  
You notice how bad things around campus is getting. There is a fight coming, you can tell. You act disinterested but you start making mental notes. Like how the Zetas and Summers are preparing weaponry, Bio Nerd and JP are making chemical bombs, Laura's- well, Laura is making videos. Matska hasn't been seen in the past couple weeks. Everything is going down hill.  
...  
You were right, there was a fight. A big one. Some died, most were hurt. Some meaning Laura, Mattie wasn't kidding when she said she was coming after her once you got done with her. Talk about heart break, there isn't anything like seeing the only person you love die.  
'She still doesn't love you.'  
Months after the initial heart ache you still aren't over her, you never will be. When you were holding her in your arms after Mattie took her toll on her, her blood was all over your leather pants. You started to cry again when she lifted her hand up and caressed your face, a small smile playing on her lips. Two words pushing past, "You know." If it wasn't for vampiric constitution you would have never heard her.  
...  
It was weeks later when you decided to leave. You had spent your time there, done this and that. You stayed in Laura's and yours old room, it smelled like her. Everything was her. You had thought heartbreak was bad before, it's worse when you know you won't ever have a chance to get them back.  
'Looks like she did love you.'  
Once you had everything you needed you took one last look around and spotted that damn yellow pillow laying on her bed. Stepping back inside you gently pick it up and bring it to your face, inhaling the last of Laura. Placing it under your arm you pick up your black duffle bag and start to walk away, closing the door behind you. Closing this chapter of your life, you leave.  
...  
It's time to fly.

**Author's Note:**

> Syke, no I'm not :P


End file.
